This post is basically just because I had a lot of things on my mind and decided just to write. So I apologize if there is no real structure to this. Welcome to the workings of my mind:
When I look in the mirror, to be perfectly honest, sometimes I hate the face I see looking back at me, sometimes I call it a liar because of the smile that I don't usually feel, and other times I just don't recognize myself. I guess this would be the moment to cue Mulan singing Reflection.
But truthfully I just feel so lost most of the times because I don't know who I am or what I want anymore. Everything is changing and my life is spiraling even father into chaos and it feels like I'm trying to dig my way out of quick and with toothpicks. To me it is as though everything I thought I had control over and had planned out so incredibly carefully has crumbled into chaos and disorder.
I feel like the hardest part about life and just existing in general is finding out who we are and just where we fit in this chaos we call life and society. Life is one crazy race to figure everything out, find our place, and be settled and know what we want and who we are.
But if you have lived in the real world for more than a few moments you would know that this is an impossible standard that we try and accomplish every day of our lives. But no matter what we still aim for this thinking that it is the equation for happiness.
In the end, find the best side of you that makes you happy and don't worry about everyone else. Yes, I still feel like Mulan but thats ok, I'm 18 and am slowly accepting that it is ok to not have everything figured out just yet.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant/brain dump. Big hugs from my computer screen to yours!
(Don't forget to check out the Zero to Hero challenge: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/zero-to-hero/#6)