Thursday, June 8, 2017

How to Bounce Back from Being a Hermit

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So one thing I will fully admit to falling prey to, is that since I moved up to Northern California, I have essentially become a hermit. I stay at home and hardly ever go out, well more so I fall into a routine of work and school and one or two people I see, and for a while there I hardly ever talked to any of my friends or family. Suffice to say, it wasn’t the best time.

But that was just me, for some, you may enjoy being alone and that’s ok! Each person has their own schtick, but if you want to get out more and try to be more social, I hope this helps!

I've reached the point where I consider myself and extroverted introvert.  I have definitely become more of an introvert over the years but with the right people and situation my extroverted, social butterfly side comes out.

Deep down I feel like pretty much everyone in some way wants to connect, to find a group they are comfortable with.  Recently I’ve heard my dad and a few others talk a lot about ‘their tribe.’ Frankly, I have been a little confused by that expression.  But essentially, I think it’s one in the same.  Your tribe, your social group, your crew, etc., whatever you want to call it, the existence of one in your life is important.  In one blog post I read by Claire Obeid, she makes a great point, you need to find balance between your hermit and your social butterfly. (You can check out her post here.)

For the purpose of this post here are a few key tips to getting yourself back out there that I had to learn:

  • Sometimes you have to be the one to ask. I’m the kind of person who often, I feel like I have to have an invitation to do something fun. But waiting around for someone else to make the first move doesn’t work out. If you feel the need to get out and want to hang out with people, you need to be comfortable making the first step and asking others to hang out. Even if it’s something as simple as “hey let’s go get coffee” or going for food, for me I like to go karaoke or go bowling (despite the fact that I stink at it lol).
  • People are there for you, trust me. Sometimes when you’ve shut yourself off for a while, it’s easy to forget that you have friends who like being around you. So when you are trying to step back out, that can be the scariest part, feeling like no one is there.  I can almost guarantee that there are at least a few friends you are overlooking.  Try posting something on Facebook about wanting to get together and see who responds.  Text people you used to hang out with, they are there.
  • Find your tribe. Like I talked about earlier, you want to find that group of people you feel comfortable around and you know you can go to.  Within that tribe, you want to make sure you have at least one or two close people you know you can turn to regardless of if you are having an off day, or just who you know would be willing to make time for you. I have a small handful of people like this, my best friend and “hetero-life partner” (a term I learned from my roommate) is two hours away from me and with conflicting schedules we can’t always see each other, but I do know I can call her whenever. In closer proximity, I have another best friend who is always there for me and I’m very glad they came into my life and has pointed out, none too subtly, that I needed to get a life!
  • Don’t push yourself! While the other three tips are all about getting out there and getting in contact with people, maybe forcing yourself out of what has become your comfort zone, you want to make sure you don’t overdo it all at once. If you push yourself to do too much too fast, you could stress yourself out and it may even backfire. So with all these, find your own pace. Be sure to check out the other post I linked above because she does have a lot of good tips about finding a balance in your life.

I definitely fell even farther into being a hermit after my relationship ended.  For a while it was just work and school and that was it.  I know I neglected this blog a lot in the past year due to everything that was going on in my life and I want to change that along with finding a balance between my obligations and my hobbies.  With a new job and summer here its time to push myself into new, healthy habits. Wish me luck!

If anyone has any other tips please let me know, thank you!
<3 Kimmie

Monday, March 20, 2017

2017 Reading Challenge

So for this year’s reading challenge or reading goals, I’m going to be using the Popsugar Reading Challenge list. I definitely don’t think I’d be able to do all 40, but my overall goal is to read 20 books this year. I decided to pick and choose categories from the challenge to create my list:


  1. A book involving travel: Stardust - Neil Gaiman
  2. A book involving a mythical creature: WIld About You - Kerrelyn Sparks
  3. An audiobook: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
  4. A bestseller from a genre you don’t usually read: Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins
  5. A book that’s becoming a movie in 2017: Either Red Sparrow - Jason Matthews or Murder on the Orient Express - Agatha Christie
  6. A book that’s published in 2017: Into the Fire - Jeaniene Frost
  7. The first book in a series you haven’t read before: The Selection - Kiera Cass
  8. A book that’s been on your TBR list for way too long: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
  9. A book by a person of color: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? - Mindy Kaling
  10. A book with a title that’s a character’s name: Cinder - Marissa Meyer
  11. A book with a subtitle: Dear Mr. Darcy: A Retelling of Pride and Prejudice - Amanda Grange
  12. A book with career advice: #Girlboss - Sophia Amoruso
  13. A book where the main character is a different ethnicity than you: House Girl - Tara Conklin
  14. A book about an interesting woman: Hidden Figures - Margot Lee Shetterly
  15. A book set in wartime/A book you bought on a trip (Yes filling two categories): The Zookeeper’s Wife - Diane Ackerman


For now I’m going to stick to 15/16 categories so I can have some wiggle room to read books that I want and may not fit. I do want to try and complete the books from my 2016 challenge, but that will be on the back burner. I will be updating this with any changes to the list or if I decide to add to it. If you want to try the Popsugar challenge, check out their Goodreads group. You can also see my progress on my Goodreads account and challenge. I do have a widget in my sidebar!


Do I have any active readers out there? Let me know if you plan to challenge yourself this year and what your picks would be.


Hugs from my computer to yours!

<3 Kimmie

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

My Goals for 2017

Everyone has their "New Years Resolutions" and I feel like a lot of the time these drop off within the first several months of the year.  And to be honest, a lot of the time the goals we make for ourselves are very broad or very large goals that we become overwhelmed by and just forget about or get too overwhelmed by the prospect.
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So I just wanted to create a simple (yet a little vague) list of goals that I want to keep in mind throughout the year...and yes I realize in this list I switch between first and second person a lot lol.
  • Be Yourself!
    • It's ok to be yourself, and people who aren't ok with that don't need to take priority.
  • It's ok to be on my own.
    • Learn how to survive on my own!
  • Stop putting yourself down!
  • Build self confidence and self worth.
  • Get to know myself
  • Blog, read, and write on a regular basis.
  • Work out on a regular basis.
  • Complete the rock climbing mile high challenge at school.
  • Stay up to date on project pan.
  • Read 20 books this year.
  • Get my GPA above 3.3.
    • Work on developing study plans and sticking to them.
I'm going to try and do my best and update you on some of these that have deadlines. Any related posts will be linked in the list. If my reading goals and project pan posts have not been posted already they will be soon!

What are some of your goals for this year? Share them with me in the comments.

I hope 2017 is a wonderful year for all of you.
- Kim
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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Combating Post-Breakup Blues

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Most people have gone through some type of breakup in their lives, and the majority will probably tell you that it sucks and is painful. I have been going through this as of late and personally, I'm with the majority.  So here is what I have learned over the past few months that have been helping me get through this hard time.

- Get your support system! I can't stress how important it is to be around people who genuinely care about you and who want to support you.  By having a strong support system you have people who you can turn to when you are having a bad day, who are willing to listen to you talk, even if you are saying the same thing as before.

- Put some distance.  For me, he moved back home to a different state, so I didn’t have to go through the issues of seeing him on a regular basis.  Bt I did have to force myself to talk to him less.  If you do see your ex frequently or have the same friend group, try taking a step back.  I’m not saying stop hanging out with the friend group, just take some time away from events where you would be in the same place.

- Allow yourself to grieve.  One thing you absolutely don’t want to do is bottle up those feelings, because they will explode in the worst way, and probably the worst timing.  If you need to cry, that’s ok, you’re allowed to.  You need to let yourself go through the grieving process, because in a way, it’s like a death.  Something that has been a big part of your life has come to an end and you have to ride that out.

- Friends on social media. As much as it sucks, you will want to remove them from your social media because it will torture you. If you guys do plan to remain friends, at least remove them for a while. I personally stayed facebook friends with him for a while and I was paranoid about posting anything that he could take the wrong way, etc.

- It’s your business.  On the social media note, don’t post all the details on facebook or anywhere really.  Because really all that will do is probably open up a can of worms of people dumping on them and trying to tell you what you should do and personally that just made me feel worse.  I really didn’t want to hear people trash talking him and I certainly didn’t want to draw the limelight on what had transpired.

- Painful memories.  You probably want to delete your photos together and remove anything that is a painful reminder of the split.

- Don’t drink alone or hole yourself up.  We’ve all heard about the infamous way of getting over someone through the bottom of a bottle.  Alcohol is actually a depressant.  If you do want to drink, invite over someone who makes you feel good and safe and who wouldn’t mind if you got emotional. The day he and I broke up I went over to my now roommate’s house and we drank and watched a movie and hung out.  Going back to the first point, don’t try to fight this on your own, don’t shut yourself off from everyone, in fact, I’ve gone out more than I have in ages because I don’t want to fall into the trap of sitting at home wallowing. I want to be surrounded by good people in a good situation.

- Rebuild yourself.  I started rock climbing more and trying to figure out who I am on my own.  We were together for 4 years, so I hadn’t been an adult on my own, I’m learning how to do that now.  Focus on learning to be happy on your own, you don’t need a significant other.

I hope this helps some of you out there and if you are going through a breakup, I wish you all the best and remember, if no one else, I believe in you!

Hugs from my computer to yours -
Kim

P.s. here is an article that helped me and inspired this: Cosmo.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Life Threw Me a Curve Ball

I wanted to apologize first off for the radio silence from me the last six months. My life took a turn for the crazy over the last half of 2016.  My boyfriend lost his job which resulted in me working on average 50+ hours a week between my two jobs and trying to balance 15 units in school. Everything went haywire and to say I was stressed would be an understatement of epic proportions.

Unfortunately, in December, my boyfriend and I split. We were together for nearly 4 years.  It has been a very difficult transition and an even worse build up. Making the decision to end our relationship was incredibly emotional and one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I don't want to go into the details of the situation but I do feel that it was the best decision and course of action, no matter how painful.

I honestly feel like the last half of 2016 every time I thought I had hit rock bottom and it couldn't possibly get any worse, some asshole threw me a shovel.  It has been a whirlwind of changes, challenges, and sometimes seemingly impossible hurtles to get over.  But I'm still trying, taking each day at a time. 

Now that the holidays are over and my work schedule has calmed down, I finally have time to really think and I am trying to still process everything.  School is back in session and with a new year I am really hoping for a new beginning. 

I have some new content lined up for this blog and some posts will be going up soon.  I have a goal to have a post up every Wednesday.  If there is anything you would like to see me talk about please let me know in the comments.

Thank you, I hope all of your holiday season went well.

- Kimmie