Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The next step along your journey....

In life change is inevitable. You change jobs, schools, you move to a new location, start a relationship or maybe end one. It is an inescapable truth that things are always changing, nothing is ever static.

When embarking on the next leg of your journey, the road ahead is full of uncertainties. You are stepping out of your comfort zone and fearlessly entering the unknown.

This journey for me: college.

I must admit that I am very nervous and not 100% sure what to expect. I’m worried that I will mess up or let my procrastination get the best of me. I’m sad about not seeing my boyfriend or family every day. I have been crying on and off for days, usually on Johnny’s (Boyfriend) shoulder.

When making changes in your life you wind up thinking about things that you never have before, “how will I do on my own,” “what will it be like living on my own?” The prospect of living on your own at first seems like a grand idea, freedom to do whatever you want. Suddenly the quote from Spiderman comes to mind: “With great power comes great responsibility.” Living on your own is a true test of going from a kid to an adult. It takes a tremendous amount of accountability and responsibility. You no longer have your parents there to stand over your shoulder and tell you to “do your homework”, “do your laundry” or “go to bed so you can wake up on time.”

Some days I can’t stop thinking about if I’m gonna be ok on my own. I have never had my own bedroom and I’m scared of the dark. I am bi-polar and not the best at handling stress or anger. All these things, all the little things you maybe don’t show to anyone but the people who live with you or take care of you on a daily basis. You think, “how the heck do I handle this on my own, and what the heck will my room mate think if I slip up?” The prospect of this is embarrassing.  And I am honestly horrified of slipping up.

However, despite everything, I am going forth to the next leg of my journey and the next chapter of my story. So I will brace myself for a bumpy ride, but who knows, maybe the skies will suddenly clear. I have faith that I can push through, that I can find my balance and my place.

Wish me luck.

And to all those facing your own journeys in life, I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.