I wrote this poem years ago about the first guy I ever loved, or at least thought I did. Now I realize I just more relied on him for support and needing to feel cared for. Anyhow, yet another one I found in my dropbox...

I swore I would never say this out loud,

But I can't keep lying to myself.

Because the truth is that I love you.

You have no idea how hard I wish that I could just make these feelings go away,

Imagine they aren’t real.

But wishing away feelings is like trying to wish the moon to stop shining,

Impossible.

I can't pretend anymore,

I can't pretend I don’t wish you were mine,

Pretend that I didn't feel like I was safe when you held me

Pretend that when I talk to you, you don’t make everything seem ok.

I thought that burying my feelings would make things easier;

I thought it would make me a better friend.

Yes, I love you and I am terrified that may never change.

That is something I will have to accept.

I will have to accept that you may never be mine.

And I know that I may never be more than your friend.

Who knows someday you may feel the way I do.

But I refuse to sit around and wait for that day to come;

Waiting for you to say three words that may never be for me.

I can’t waste my life waiting for a dream that may never be.

I can’t hurt myself like that anymore.

And maybe one day I will get over you.

It may be five minutes from now,

It maybe tomorrow,

Or six months from now,

Or maybe even never.

I honestly don’t know.

Poetry Saturday: Moment

I wrote this poem years ago and found it in my drop box. Hope you enjoy:

It was just a moment, but this one was so real. Well I know it was real but the emotion behind it, I wanted to be. It was there in his arms, he was looking into my eyes as I looked back into his. I was captivated. In those few beautiful, heart pounding seconds it felt like an eternity. Alone in his embrace, I felt warm and welcome. All I could think was, “could this really be happening?” I wanted to believe so badly that this was all real. That I felt something and that for the first time that something was real. To believe that he saw me, the real me. But all too soon that moment, those precious seconds were over, and once they were I felt the harsh truth, that that look in his eyes would never be for me. That I would remain invisible to the one man I wanted to see me. That the love I wanted so badly to have I would never feel, never earn, and never receive from the one man I wanted to love me.

Poetry Saturday - Butterflies

Source

Butterflies in my stomach as you smile at me with your small crooked smile,
You snake your arms around my waste and pull me close. I can't help but feel safe inside your strong protecting arms.
I'm scared because I don't know what could happen, but I know what I want to happen.
I hold my breath as your face is just a few inches from mine. I look hesitantly at you as your brown eyes look down studying me.
I send a silent prayer that you can't see my butterflies, but that you can see how badly I want you to feel the same.
We sway gently to the music playing, but standing on the dance floor, looking into your transfixing eyes, the world seems to fade and all I can think about is what I can't help feel for you.
Butterflies fill me and I just want to spend the night in your arms, close you, wishing that butterflies fill you too.

Poetry Saturday - My Love

I'm not sure if this is a poem per say but I really love just imagining scenes in my head and writing them  in a poetic and beautiful way. Hope you enjoy!

"The sun shines in softly through the window as a gentle breeze dances with the sheer white drapes. As I stretch out my sleeping muscles, I hear a soft moan beside me. My dearest love snuggles closer to me and lays her head upon my chest as she sleepily wraps her arms around me. A small flash of light catches my eye, the shimmering of the ring on her left hand and I feel my heart swell with love. I can't help but smile at her sweet innocence. As I look upon her face, soft, delicate features, she looks so peaceful, no trace of any of the pain she has suffered through. A small tendril of hair falls across her face and my arm instinctively move to brush it behind her ear. I just think how incredible it is, how we fit together so perfectly, how we found peace together and that we found each other. I draw her up in my arms as she opens her tired eyes and looks up at me with those brilliant crystal blue orbs that always hold me in amazement. I gently lift her chin, drawing her lips to mine. I love this woman. She is my heart, my soul, my very existence. I could never survive without her."

Poetry Saturday - Poetry Slam Poem

Ever since we were young,

There is a song that has always been sung,

Adults and parents always said:

If you wish and you dream,

And you hope and you seem,

you can become anything and go anywhere.

But in a grown up world of deadlines and dates,

We’ve learned that this is not always the case.

Here in this land of responsibility and adulthood,

There is no clear path to our dreams,

But instead a road full of bumps, thorns and weeds.

However, it is our goal, our duty our mission,

To continue down our road without submission.

Life’s greatest test, is our ability to continue on.

To push on, to push forward, keep going,

Down that path with no knowing,

No inkling of what will stand in the way,

But still look forward to the future bright as day.

The world may place trials in your way,

But the strength you have can never displace.

As troubled as the night may seem,

Stand tall for the day,

When you will face the world and say,

“Here, here I am,

here, here I stand.

I will fight and I may fall,

But I will survive through it all.

The world may be rough,

But I am tougher

And that’s enough.

I am stronger than it all.”

So we can be anything we wish and dream,

Go anywhere we hope and seem.

Just push on and keep traveling on,

That long winding road to our dreams and the dawn.

Scars on my Skin

Scars on my skin,

That I made with nails or a pin .

I did nothing wrong

They helped me stay strong,

My way to deal,

With the pain I would feel.

They say that it’s bad

But please don’t stay mad

I did it to help me

Why can’t you see?

These scars saved my life,

When it was filled with strife.

Please all my family,

If you could forgive me kindly,

I swear I’m not crazy,

It all just gets hazy,

When my eyes fill with tears,

And cries fill my ears,

These scars brought me back,

Before I could crack,

But who are you to judge me?

These scars helped save me.

So what, maybe I’m crazy,

Because it’s still a bit hazy.

But that’s not for you to judge

Because these scars still have their touch

Source

Note from Kimmie: as I have mentioned in the past I have a history of depression and self harm and I wrote this poem about my history with it. For the record I haven't cut since, I don't remember the exact time frame, but I haven't cut in 2014. So I am pretty proud of myself.