Throwback Thursday

Hey everyone, sorry this is being posted so late in the day.

Throwback to when I was 14 years old! Fun fact, I haven't really grown much since...other than a bit pudgier....and my face really hasn't changed that much. Fun facts about this picture:

1. This was taken at a Job's Daughters sleep over with my bethel in the lodge we meet at.
2. That lodge is really creepy with all the lights out, so whenever we do a sleep over we always keep the "accent" lights on
3. This was right after I got my hair dyed professionally for the first...and only, time ever.
4. The black/blonde hair girl right behind me is my friend Katie
5. I cannot remember who is sitting in the chair, but the person in front of it is named Allison
6. I remember that night Allison wasn't feeling good because of medication
7. Me and my friend Alyssa always used to sleep next to each other at sleep overs (as you can see by the picture of us sleeping below)
8. The adults for some reason always loved taking funny pictures of us sleeping...
9. We always acted like idiots at sleepovers and dancing like lunatics while blaring 'Nsync and Backstreet Boys
10. I still hang out and keep in touch with a not of the people there that night

And here is the sleeping picture:

I hope you guys enjoyed this throwback thursday! Let me know in the comments.

Have an awesome weekend <3 Kimmie

I wrote this poem years ago about the first guy I ever loved, or at least thought I did. Now I realize I just more relied on him for support and needing to feel cared for. Anyhow, yet another one I found in my dropbox...

I swore I would never say this out loud,

But I can't keep lying to myself.

Because the truth is that I love you.

You have no idea how hard I wish that I could just make these feelings go away,

Imagine they aren’t real.

But wishing away feelings is like trying to wish the moon to stop shining,

Impossible.

I can't pretend anymore,

I can't pretend I don’t wish you were mine,

Pretend that I didn't feel like I was safe when you held me

Pretend that when I talk to you, you don’t make everything seem ok.

I thought that burying my feelings would make things easier;

I thought it would make me a better friend.

Yes, I love you and I am terrified that may never change.

That is something I will have to accept.

I will have to accept that you may never be mine.

And I know that I may never be more than your friend.

Who knows someday you may feel the way I do.

But I refuse to sit around and wait for that day to come;

Waiting for you to say three words that may never be for me.

I can’t waste my life waiting for a dream that may never be.

I can’t hurt myself like that anymore.

And maybe one day I will get over you.

It may be five minutes from now,

It maybe tomorrow,

Or six months from now,

Or maybe even never.

I honestly don’t know.

Poetry Saturday: Moment

I wrote this poem years ago and found it in my drop box. Hope you enjoy:

It was just a moment, but this one was so real. Well I know it was real but the emotion behind it, I wanted to be. It was there in his arms, he was looking into my eyes as I looked back into his. I was captivated. In those few beautiful, heart pounding seconds it felt like an eternity. Alone in his embrace, I felt warm and welcome. All I could think was, “could this really be happening?” I wanted to believe so badly that this was all real. That I felt something and that for the first time that something was real. To believe that he saw me, the real me. But all too soon that moment, those precious seconds were over, and once they were I felt the harsh truth, that that look in his eyes would never be for me. That I would remain invisible to the one man I wanted to see me. That the love I wanted so badly to have I would never feel, never earn, and never receive from the one man I wanted to love me.