Bullying and Haters

So I just wanted to do a post about bullying and cyber bullying because I have been seeing way to much of it lately and just need to get it off my chest.

I don't understand why people feel the need to bully others or tear them down just to make themselves feel better. If you are having a bad day or you are having some issue or you were bullied or something, bullying someone else isn't the answer. All your doing is hurting someone else the way you might be hurting inside.

To people who just sit around and spread hate on the internet all day. You're not cool just because you can call someone names or make up a horrible story about someone else. If you have never met this person and you just know them because they have a blog, or the post on YouTube or they are a celebrity and you don't necessarily like them, OH WELL. Big deal, get over it. Accept that they aren't your cup of tea.

Honestly, if you have never met a person before you have NO RIGHT to say you hate them or whatever nasty things. I don't know how someone can tell someone else "go kill yourself" or "go cut yourself" or "if you died or disappeared no one would care." How callous do you have to be to say that without any remorse. That is someone just like you, who has a life, who has a family and a future. 

How can you say that or even honestly think that they should. Maybe that person is suicidal or actually cuts and you are encouraging them??? 

The point is you don't know someones story. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and you have no right to pass judgement or go out of your way to spread hateful things about them. What do you achieve by doing that? What, your 15 minutes of fame? Feeling like a bully? Because that is what you are. 

Bottom line, you should spread positivity and love. Build someone up and make them feel good about themselves rather than tearing them down.

How To Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up

From one of the most inspiring and bubbly people on the interwebs. Kandee Johnson can always put a smile on my face and she is truly my role model with how she can always be so bubbly and happy. Check out her blog peoples. 

How To Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up

ANIMAL ANIMALS ANIMALS

So this post is all about the pets that I really want. However, unfortunately the first three are all illegal for purchase in California :( But onto the cuteness!

1. Sugar gliders: are small marsupials that are closely related to flying squirrels. They are mostly nocturnal creatures and eat fruit and yogurt and glider pellet food. They are very codependent animals and they require you to spend a lot of time with them and they bond to usually one person. They can fit in your pocket or purse and will just chill there. Believe it or not they actually bark at you for attention! They are so adorable and tiny and I just want to put it in my pocket :) My boyfriend and I want to get two and name them Momo (after the flying lemur in Avatar the Last Air Bender) and Icarus (after the flying squirrel in Nemo's Adventures in Slumberland.) 

2. Hedgehog: ok if you don't know what a hedgehog is then you have been living under a rock! Domesticated hedgehogs like warm climates (above 72 degrees) eat mostly insects but domestic diets include cat food, meal worms, cooked unseasoned meat, fruits and vegetables. They are still scared of predators  such as humans but they are mostly acclimated to being house pets now. And I mean come on just look at em!

3. Fennec Fox: OMG WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE EARS!!! I just want to pet them!!!! SO CUTE!!! Ha ha ha. Fennec foxes are smaller nocturnal foxes that originated in the Sahara of Northern Africa. They normally live in burrows dug out in the sand. They act like a mix of a dog&cat. "They are a ball of energy 15% of the time, snuggly 20% of the time and asleep the rest." They are pretty easy going and like to bond much like sugar gliders.

So yeah, those are my "exotic pet wants." Big interweb hugs! Hope I showed you a little cuteness :)

Day 17-20

So I've been behind on blogging so I am gonna do something special! What's that, you ask? 

A MASS BLOG POST!!!! Ha ha ha!

So this week was a crazy week full of editing. Quite literally that's it! I downloaded VideoPad (and spent about an hour an a half trying to figure it out and work it.) And I discovered how tedious video editing was!!!  I felt so bad because I spent several hours editing and trying to figure out how I wanted the video put together and such that I still only have like two minutes of mess! Nothing is cohesive just yet :( 

I seriously don't know how these video gurus do it!!! They must be ninjas or something because I have this cool image in my head and no idea how to edit into reality! Any video editors out there have suggestions??? HELP!

Day 16

Hey everyone, so today I figured out that the video editing software I was trying to use wasn't that swell and it really wasn't that easy to use and just no. So I spent a lot of the day doing some serious research into editing software. Looking at the websites, reviews and tutorials on YouTube and the interwebs and so on. 

So after about an hour of research the winner is: bum bum bum

It looks like a pretty easy-to-operate interface and it might just be the one I download. So far it has some of the best reviews and there is even a free version that I am able to download. 

LET THE EDITING ENSUE!!! READY, SET, RENDER!

Day 15

Hey Interwebbies!

So today I am writing this in some half awake/asleep state. I caught a horrible cold and I am completely miserable! I have been doing nothing but sleeping all day long and cuddling with my stuffed dog ha ha ha! I just woke up long enough to post this. Chicken noodle soup and tea are the words of the day! 

So unfortunately there was nothing done on my senior project today :( Back to sleep!

Day 14

So today I had my "Half-Way" POL. I put together a Prezi and printed out my statistics and my script. I got to present my final goals and deliverables, show the uncut interviews and talk about what has and hasn't worked so far. I think it went pretty well. 

Even though it feels like this project has been moving glacially slow and sometimes I've been down and felt like I haven't done ANYTHING productive, that POL really showed me that I have been working, and even though its slow it is going.

Directly after my POL I went on a field trip with my Advanced Physics class to a place called Ossur. They make braces and prosthetics like the one the Olympian Oscar Pistorius has. It was really interesting seeing how they outfit someone with whatever they need. They use these little trackers and pressure floor board and crazy cameras to see how all the little movements are made and affect the problem. 

Science is awesomeness peoples. (Even thought a lot of it goes over my head!)

Day 13

Today I spent most of the day doing the final preparations for my POL and also trying to reschedule with two of my friends for an interview. A little nervous for my POL tomorrow because I caught a cold and now it is rather difficult to talk and I'm coughing and sneezing non stop. Oh joy! Wish me luck!

Day 12

I had my interview today with the director of Thelma McMillan and the guy was really nice however, my camera died mid interview and so he was kind enough to reschedule with me for next Monday. So today I was reviewing the video I have and creating a brainstorm of how I would like to cut it together.

Day 11

Today I spent most of the day working on my Prezi and script. And I'm really happy that I got them done and I also filmed the interviews with my mom and best friend Johnny. A big thank you to them for opening up and being willing to talk about their pasts to me.

Day 10

So I am super excided I took my AP Physics final and I am hoping I passed. I realized that that was the last test of my high school career :/ Kind of bitter sweet. 

Anyhow, I got to work on my Prezi and am almost finished with it. And I am bummed because I was going to interview my friend Melody but the camera I was going to use decided it was going to have a virus and not work :( 

Onward to grad night!

Day 9

Today I unfortunately I didn't get to work very much on my senior project because I was studying for my AP Physics final. However, I did get to make some more phone calls and I'm hoping for a call back :)

Day 8

So this week is absolutely hectic because I have my physics final on Friday as well as grad night and a whole bunch of DeMolay events on Saturday. Anyhow, onto what happened today. 

First off, I am super excited because I finally got a hold of the Thelma McMillan chemical dependency center through Torrance Memorial, and the program director agreed to let me interview him next Monday! He seems really nice and I'm so happy to finally be able to get to have an interview from the helper's perspective. 

Hoping to get a hold of more soon!

Day 7

Today I went into school for my weekly meeting with my adviser Heidi. She is really nice and is reminding me to not over stress, because believe me I have that problem, and to just focus on doing the best that I can. We talked about the requirements for my halfway POL (a presentation of learning) and when I was going to present. Basically what I have to present on is my final objectives and goals, what has been successful so far, what has not, my raw data and activity logs. 

Prezi here I come!

Day 6

Today I began working on my script for what I would like to say through out the video. I just started writing out what I would say as though I was interviewing myself. I figured that if I am asking other people to share their personal experiences I should share mine as well since that is what inspired me to create this video.

One of the main reasons that I decided that I wanted to created this video was because I am so sick of hearing people say "its just a phase" "You'll get over it" "You're doing it for attention." I want to show people that there is help out there. I truly want to show people that you just have to ask for help. It could be from a parent, a best friend, a teacher. Just someone you trust, or maybe even a suicide hotline.

Day 5

Day 5:

Today I finished writing my interview questions, sent them out to the people who agreed to be interviewed and also asked when would be best to interview them. Believe it or not that is a bit of work, even though I can write it in one sentence ha ha ha. 

I am super excited about my project, I can't wait to see the final product. If I can at least impact one persons life and make them feel a little bit better and inspire them then I feel that this project would be worth it. I promise I will post the video on here as soon as I am done with it. Wish me luck :)

Senior Project Day 4!

Day 4: 

I did get some video recording of people talking for my video and also I have been trying to contact my friends who I talked to about interviewing before, just trying to get a time set up for when I can interview them on camera. I'm hoping I can get everything together soon and start getting my interviews together, just refining my interview questions and trying to get the interview times.

I'm so sorry that this first week is kind of slow and boring because I'm just getting the ball rolling. 

Senior Project Day 3

So today is day 3 of my senior project! Today I was catching up on my blog posts and my goals are to get a story board outline and make more calls in an attempt to contact crisis centers and non-profits. 

Here's how it went:

Well I was able to get a hold of some of the crisis centers on my list however, they were ones that were not able to help me. So on the bright side I was able to narrow down the list of where I need to call and try and get a hold of. Fingers crossed that I will get a hold of them soon! But what I am trying to work on is getting my video story boarding and starting to get some recordings that I don't need the crisis centers for.

Have a wonderful day lovelies! 

Throwback Thursday!!! Washington DC and freshman year!

Hey guys! It's Throwback Thursday and I wanted to show you two different times in my life.

EEEP! That's me when I was I think 11 when I went to Washington DC and the surrounding areas with my grandma and grandpa. I just remember it being so incredibly HOT. Oh, and having to wear "walking shoes" and always thinking that they made me look like big foot ha ha ha. This picture was taken in DC right after I had cut about 12 inches off of my hair to donate to locks of love! 

Next Photo.....

This was me in freshman year with Dondei and Misao. I really miss 9th and 10th grade. They were so much fun! I had some of the coolest teachers and everything was so much simpler! Everything was just happy and good and so much less stressful. I was just a crazy kid with a group of equally crazy friends. 

Feeling Alone and Useless :(

Well this is kind of a two part post. First: Alone. Recently I've just been feeling really alone and like a lot of people I thought were my really good friends have been drifting away and like I don't belong around them any more. I feel like whenever I am around this group they are just thinking in their heads "what are you doing here? You don't belong here." And it just really sucks and makes me feel empty inside because its like I don't belong anywhere again. I'm just on the outside while they are this close knit group. My head just keeps saying "they don't need or want you any more." 

I just feel like I don't know where I belong any more...

Second half: Useless. Gah I can't even describe how useless I have been feeling lately. A very good friend of mine has a mentally abusive and extremely controlling boyfriend who pushed her to cutting again  AND who recently snapped and hurt her physically. I was so scared for her and so relieved when she said she told him she never wanted to talk to him again. But.........

Then she started being really depressed saying that she missed him and just wanted to make things right. She spent 4 hours sitting in her car outside her house trying to talk to him. And you know what that bastard did?! He hid behind the cars in the driveway watching as her sister, my boyfriend and myself held onto her while she cried her eyes out in the middle of the street.

She is such a wonderful person who has had a horrible past. She has been surrounded by nothing but controlling guys all her life. She admitted she was addicted to this guy but didn't want to go back to being treated that way. Again that same group was doing everything we could to keep her happy and help her through because we knew it was going to be hard. 

Then another example of his "affection" she had a really bad hypo-glycemic attack and got really sick and he said "well tell her if she needs me I'll be asleep." WTF!!!!!! I'm sorry but if you claim to love someone and they are sick I wouldn't care if they were asleep. I would have charged my but over there as fast as humanly possible just to be there and make sure they were ok.

Then, then the worst of all. SHE WENT BACK TO HIM!!! Oh yes. I call over to her house to see if I can go grab my stuff which I forgot after sleeping over at her house. Only to find out that she has been missing. Where is she? At his house. And her brother was begging her to come home and she doesn't come home till midnight.

AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! I felt so absolutely betrayed and I wanted to slap her and murder him! Plus that snide jackass called my boyfriend a compulsive liar just because he was telling her the truth about him. And then he told me and my bf in the snidest most irritating "punch me now" voice: "I told you she would listen to me." That SOB is destroying my best friend and I can't do anything to stop it! I would give anything just to smack some sense into her!

God Give Me Strength!!!!

Vote for essay awesomeness!!!

Hey everyone! I have entered an essay in a scholarship contest on WyzAnt.com. I would really appreciate you guys clicking on the link below and voting for my essay! Please and thank you!

AWESOMENESS!!!

Lots of huggles!!!

Senior Project - Day's 1&2

Hey interwebies!!! I will be using my blog to post my daily journal entry for my senior project. So here we go:

(For these two days I was working from home)

Day 1: Today I downloaded a movie making software so that when I have video footage I can just enter it in and make it go. I was also doing research on places that I could go to volunteer at and interview the people who work there. (Kind of a slow day but I wrote down several numbers to contact)

Day 2: Today I had my one on one meeting with my project adviser and we sat down and just talked about  the logistics of my project and how I plan on going about it and about how to get it actually out into the community. I sent several emails and left voicemails today to try and contact crisis centers and such about volunteering. Have yet to hear back :(

Dinner with my dad

Woopsies! I accidentally forgot to hit publish! This was supposed to be posted last Friday 4/26

So last night I drove out to Costa Mesa with my sister to meet up with our dad and have a father daughter "date night" I guess you could call it. We went out to this interesting restaurant called "8 Steers." It was a nice restaurant and the server was fun to talk to, however, a bit on the pricey side. If you go I would recommend going during happy hour because things are cheaper.

I got the steak and fries. It was an 8 oz steak with seasoned fries. The steak wasn't as flavorful as it could be but it wasn't bad. After that we went to sonic and got shakes. I got a chocolate oreo cheesecake shake and it was surprisingly pretty good. 

I'm really glad I got to see my dad and even happier that he is making an effort to be more apart of my sister's and my lives.